Thursday, December 4, 2008

The Hampster that lived in a Boot on the Riverbank Chapter 1

So I am going to break up this little book I wrote Freshman year and got an A+ on it.
Chapter 1: Meet Hammy
One day, when Hammy Hampster went for a stroll in the woods, he wandered off too far from home. Then Hammy asked a squirrel if he knew where he was.
"Sure I do! Well you are going to the riverbank!" said the lovely squirrel.
Then Hammy wondered and said, "What is a riverbank?" Then when he wanted an answer, the squirrel was already gone! Hammy said, "Oh Mr. Squirrel! Are you there?" But he got no reply. Then Hammy kept wandering.
When Hammy go to the riverbank he said, "My, this water is so warm and clear." Then he decided to go explore more. When he was exploring, he saw something in the water. He got scared and ran away screaming, "Help! There is a monster in the water!" But no one came after him. I guess Hammy gets really scared sometimes. Poor frightened Hammy! He was so frightened, that he kept running. All of a sudden he saw smoke. He thought that there was a fire. When he got closer to it, he began wondering what it was. Hammy thought it was a fire breathing dragon. Hammy was supposed to be a brave little hamster. He went closer and closer and closer until he got so close to it, he found out it was a chimney. Then he saw smoke coming from a little house by a boat! Can you guess who's boat it is?

1 comment:

Larissa Richelle said...

Sounds like a great story!
This chapter seemed a little rushed, though.
Of course, you said you wrote it freshman year,
so I suppose you could make it a lot better if you rewrote it now. =3
I recently revised a few stories that I wrote a few years ago,
and I can't believe how different the style is.
So, I'd encourage you to rewrite it.
Add lots more detail, and I bet it could be good enough to get published!
Anyway, I'll read the other chapters later,
so you can look forwards to some more comments.
Oh, and it is a very good story, by the way.
I love hamsters. =3